Role playing is a wonderful way to bring variety and imagination to sex, to try on new personalities and fun costumes, or to get comfortable with new ideas.
It allows us the freedom of exploring and experimenting because we can step outside ourselves and play other roles. Becoming another character can give us permission to test out our inner Don Juan or stripper, or to mimic a situation we can’t have or don’t really want in real life.
In addition to being fun and sexy, role play can be incredibly therapeutic. It allows us to get in touch with our darker side, for example, or navigate painful memories from a place of consent and control.
Indeed, the definition of role play includes therapy! From Oxford Languages on Google: “The acting out of the part of a particular person or character, for example as a technique in training or psychotherapy.”
Using role play can bring creativity, intimacy, excitement, and connection to your love life.
Tips for Enjoying the Therapeutic Benefits of Role Playing
Dressing up has always been important to her.
We can find arousal and enjoyment in dressing up as a cowboy or CEO. But dressing up goes much deeper for many transgender women. It has literally been essential to her identity, in helping her become more herself.
The healing and validity that comes from putting on outfits that reflect her true nature, and communicate that nature to her lovers or to the world, cannot be underestimated.
Women who were assigned as male at birth or who have gender dysphoria experience tremendous validation when they can express their real identity. So never underestimate the power of dressing the part!
Playful power struggles can give victims control they never had.
Not all role play or cosplay has to be about power dynamics, abuse, or BDSM. But it often is. Acting out trauma or fears in a place of safety and control is empowering. Many women have rape fantasies, but this doesn’t mean they secretly want to be raped. A fantasy puts the victim squarely in the driver’s seat.
If she wants you to dress up as a cop, priest, convict, or Daddy, it could be just fun and games, or it could serve a deeper need that is greatly beneficial.
Use your imagination to cultivate themes.
There are an infinite number of role plays you can try out together, from boss and secretary, to matador and maiden, to husband and babysitter—the costumes change, but the themes are about seduction, surprise, initiation, innocence, power, allure, and much more.
There are numerous scenarios to surround every theme. Think about the appeal of your favorite role plays. Are they about control? Unexpected desire? Helplessness? Introducing someone to the art of ecstasy? Once you understand the themes that draw you in, you can find so many ways to express and play around them.
Props and costumes are like a playground.
Even when role play is seriously therapeutic, part of the thrill is still how fun it is. Couples who play together grow closer. Building a series of experiences together and enjoying yourselves together creates intimacy and memory.
You don’t have to be an Oscar winning actor to make role play work for you. Enjoy using props and costumes to get into your part! You can find fun getups at thrift stores or rent more detailed outfits such as period pieces at costume shops. Your set doesn’t have to be elaborate, but a few props and an outfit can go a long way!
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