Do’s and Dont’s for Oral Sex with Your Trans Lover

Whether you’re nervous about embarking on your first t-girl buffet or have gobbled your way to a million explosions already, navigating oral sex with a transgender women can feel as intimidating as it is exciting.

A trans woman’s body might have a pussy, a penis, or be in a state of change. Here’s what to know before you go down.

Do’s and Don’ts of Oral Sex with a Trans Woman

DO Use Her Words

Lots of trans admirers ask questions about anatomy prematurely. This can come off as transphobic because you’re getting too personal or because it matters to you sexually. But often you’re wondering in hopes of being able to come up with a plan of action. You might feel that knowing what to expect down there can make you feel less nervous about your delivery.

The best way around this is to just use her words. Instead of asking what she’s packing, when you’re in the steamy make-out phase, ask her to share her words for her body along the way.

She might want to hear the word “pussy,” even if she has a penis. She might say “girl dick.” Let her choose the way you both refer to and perceive her anatomy.

DON’T Worry, Be Happy

Rather than worrying so much about your strategy or what kind of genitalia will be waiting for you, remember that all women are different.

Let your nerves be a kind of anticipation and excitement instead of fear or anxiety. She’s not going to leave you on your own when you show how eager you are to please her.

DO Follow Her Lead

The best way to perform oral sex on a woman is always to ask her what feels good. If she has a penis and you’re new to this, don’t hesitate to share your vulnerability. “I want to taste every part of you, but I’m not sure what feels good for you,” is probably all you need to open that door.

“Does this feel good?” is an easy and honest question to ask along the way. She may also guide you with her body language. If she’s pulling away or directing your attention elsewhere, take the hint.

DON’T Avoid Her Body because You’re Unsure

It’s better to be straight up about your uncertainty than to avoid her forever. Think of each new partner as a different world to explore. It doesn’t matter if she has the same set up as another woman or not—this is new geography. Experiment and play.

DO Respect Her Ownership of Her Genitals

Always respect the fact that a woman is the expert on her body, not you.

If she doesn’t want oral sex because her new vagina is painful, or because she doesn’t like her cock used that way, stop insisting. Let her know the invitation is there, and that’s all you need.

DON’T Treat Her Cock the Way You Treat Yours

Hormones make her cock small and soft, so you don’t want to perceive oral sex as “giving a blow job” (unless she shows you she wants that or uses those words). Use your tongue to lick and lap, but don’t focus on “sucking dick.”

Her penis operates differently now but all the nerve endings are still there. As with oral sex on any woman, explore the entire area with your tongue and hands, from her lower belly to her upper thighs, ass to navel.

DO Praise Her Pussy or Penis

Make sure you share your excitement with her along the way. When you tell her how much her arousal turns you on, using her words for her body, you open a door for more communication and more pleasure.

What tips can you share from your oral sex experiences with trans women?

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