Traditional dating relationships that might involve casual dating in search of “the one” or serial monogamy, even marriage, have their pros and cons. There are also lots of benefits to polyamory, as well as many drawbacks.
There is more information about open marriages, polyamorous relationships, and alternative dating arrangements in the mainstream then ever before. Newspapers and magazines are sharing stories about couples or individuals who are romantically involved with many at once, or who have opened the doors to those possibilities.
Should You Have an Open Relationship?
Look at Your Reality
Maybe you already are open. Are you dating different t-girls? Does she have many suitors? Are you in love with more than one trans woman, and they know about each other? Has a lover declined to commit to monogamy with you, and you were okay with it because you enjoy dating others too? You are polyamorous even if you haven’t named it that.
You don’t have to name it, either, although words and definitions can be helpful in conversations about boundaries and commitments and terms. But more important than what you call it, is the honesty and communication between all of you.
Consider What She Wants First
You might want to nail her down, pardon the pun, because she’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a woman. But maybe she’s enjoying new-found confidence from the growing awareness of human rights in society, and wants to enjoy dating lots of guys.
It could be the opposite too. For the first time ever, many transgender women have full rights that include marriage. For some, the opportunity to legally acknowledge a relationship and prioritize it is really important.
Look to Your Relationship for the Answer, not Societal Pressures
All religions, societies and cultures impose norms, standards, traditions, and expectations on people concerning their sexual relationships. An awful lot of people are arranged into marriages they didn’t want, or they choose a relationship because it’s the thing that’s always been done.
On the other hand, not following the rules can also be socially induced. After all, trends in love and sex come and go. Pornography or academia or psychology can all make promises that sound interesting or enticing.
Forget about what everyone else is doing. Look at what you want honestly. If you want to date different women for a while but ultimately have a long-term companion, there’s your answer. If you want to share yourself with the right person and no one else, look for her. If you love sex but don’t want to be tied down, then enjoy yourself and be open about it with your dates.
If You’re in a Relationship, What You Want Together Is the Answer
An open relationship can be amazing—consider that it means you don’t have to break up just because one or both of you is seeing or wants to see other people.
If you both feel like you’re tired of dating or only have eyes for each other, there is no reason to open the relationship. Lots of people love the security and intimacy that they experience more than they want variety. It all depends on what both of you are looking for and want.
Go to Polyamory Today, to read about 4 Types of Polyamory Connections.
Are you in an open relationship? Tell us about it in the comments!