The wonderful thing about living in the world in 2019 is the unbelievable amount of relationship styles and possibilities that can and do exist in the world.
There certainly can’t be enough types of names to describe all the scenarios that exist between humans. I know of all kinds of weird words for various connections between people: metamours, dyads, polygynandry (multiple women marrying multiple men, ha!) cousin marriages, polycules, triads, and more!
Sometimes, there are no names for the connections we have. Why? Because some of the relationships we have are based on nebulous, arbitrary, and multi-layered aspects of our identity and sexual self that are not particularly measurable or tangible.
Some people are designated as straight, when they are just not any type of queer that has been given a socially acceptable category. And with gender also being such a nebulous, undefinable quality of modern humans, who can name all the connections we share, when we can’t even name all the types of people who are connecting to each other?!
Not everyone is a man or a woman, obviously. So I wonder, what is the name of the connection I might have with my former woman partner, who is transitioning into a man, but still is retaining his vagina? I don’t know if there is a name for a connection like that. But do I care? Not in the slightest. I know the bond between us is based on love and respect and communication, and we are both committed to having a mutual exchange of emotion, intellect, intimacy, and honesty.
We continue to recognize our similarities and differences while navigating our new sexual and emotional terrain. Their transition changes my connection to them to a degree too, as I ostensibly am not interested in men. But I am into trans men. How much testosterone or masculine identity will be enough to change my internal attraction to a person? I’m about to find out the lovely way.
This is a first time for both of us, and I know that there will be things that I’m not ready for, but at the same time, I know there will be things I am so ready for. And it can’t be described by anything I’ve experienced in my past, but that’s okay. That’s amore!
xoxo,
Addi Stewart
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