This one is going down a rabbit hole that I don’t think Hugh Hefner ever knew how to intercept adventure with. I never heard no Playboy letters go here. Not that Hef is any kind of standard of sexual morality to seek to uphold, as I surpassed a vast majority of his ethics when I was seventeen I think, but that’s not anything to be proud of really.
The rabbit hole refers to an ex-lover and ex-professional sexual partner, who has gone from lover to friend to enemy to distant stranger to friend with some sort of benefits to… I don’t know what’s next! It’s blissful, and unpredictable.
Even if this relationship is difficult to navigate when so many others have much higher levels of information security and communication, I still feel very at peace inside genuine love when I’m with this gender neutral ex of mine.
They have a variety of situations that are beyond my ability to contribute much more than an open ear and a warm chest to lay upon, but it’s enough, compared to what kind of toxic invasion our relationship has survived only recently, and much our surprise.
That being said, I really don’t know what’s next. I want to keep loving them because sharing that intimacy is important to me. The connection was heavenly, but they don’t seem to be in the same exact place, to my knowledge.
If they don’t feel the same, then it’s friends with only the benefit of absolute emotional honesty about our wants and needs. You don’t get that from everybody, so I love whatever I have and will have with them.
Kisses,
Addi Stewart
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