Sometimes when we’re lonely, we turned to our exes for comfort. It’s not easy finding a beautiful trans woman to satisfy your needs, so you may find it easier to contact an ex rather than browse through profiles on your dating site. However this scenario presents itself, the question remains: Is it a good idea to have sex with an ex? Here are a few questions to consider before you reach out.
1. What’s your current relationship with your ex? If you’ve managed to maintain a friendship, look elsewhere. Friends are hard to come by, and turning a hookup or relationship into a friendship is even harder. So if you’re buddies now, preserve that by using other resources to fulfill your sexual cravings.
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2. How long has it been? If you haven’t seen or talked to an ex in more than a few months, leave well enough alone. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, and it didn’t work out with you and her for a reason. The bad memories may have dulled, but seeing her will make them all come back, trust me.
3. Who dumped who? If you broke up with her, don’t reignite her pain by contacting her. Seriously, this seems to be a phenomenon, whereby men who recognize they made a mistake of taking a woman for granted can’t help themselves by contacting her. Accept that you fucked up, and move on. And if she dumped you, you only look desperate if you return.
4. How serious was the relationship? If you were in an open relationship, or had a clear friends-with-benefits arrangement, there’s a chance she might be up for something sexual. If you didn’t have intense feelings for her to begin with, you don’t have much to lose by reaching out.
5. What are your motivations? Before you text that ex, it’s important to ask yourself a few questions. Is this just a booty call? Are you secretly hoping to get back with her? Are you just being lazy and can’t be bothered to put yourself into a new and vulnerable situation?
As you can see, I see err on the side of caution when it comes to sex with exes. And this comes from my own experience. It sounds good on paper, but when put into motion, it often stirs up a lot of feelings on both sides that can be messy and painful.
What are your thoughts on sex with an ex? If you’ve gone there, please share your experience in the comments below.