Maybe you get your sexual confidence from the way you look—ripped abs, baby-blues, big cock. Nothing wrong with that. But the truth is you can easily find yourself hooking up with a trans woman not so easily impressed by surface-level offerings. True—and more universally admired—confidence comes from within.
It’s a bit like being an actor overcoming stage fright: know your lines inside and out and be sure to hit all your marks. How is this done? Preparation.
Pick and Know Your Pleasure. Decide what you’re bringing to the table—and make it all about you. Maybe you saw something in a porno that you want to try, something that really turns your motor. Ensuring one’s own pleasure shouldn’t lead to guilt but great sex. It’s about the confidence of knowing your desires.
Practice Your Pleasure. There’s a risk that whatever we can imagine will always be better than the real thing. So practice the scenario you imagine while you masturbate. Focus on the details you plan to put into action during a hookup. It’s no different than memorizing your dialogue. Repetition, repetition, repetition—knowing your goods will make you confident about delivering them.
Deliver Your Pleasure. Show up with every intention of whipping out your practiced moves. Know what screams confidence? Doing something with confidence. You’ve been working on this (a detail you’re not required to share) and once you start performing it with élan, your partner will put herself in your hands (figuratively or otherwise) because it looks like you know what you’re doing.
Demand Your Pleasure. If your pleasure is having something specific done unto you, then make sure you direct the action in such a way that you get what you want. Knowing your pleasure, insisting on it, and letting it happen will position your hookup to follow your lead. That kind of leadership can only build confidence.
Plan Ahead and Be Prepared. That’s the secret to confidence. It can be practiced and nurtured.
None of this need be forceful. When in the company of a confident lover, folks will generally follow the lead, thinking This person seems pretty confident—they must know what they’re doing more than I do.
And of course confidence can be faked… but you have to be a pretty confident faker to sell it.
Go Team Go!