Transgender Consent Rules: Same or Different?

There are some general societal boundaries that the “major” sexual groups practice, and these are generally maintained. But sometimes, there are transgressions and trespassing, and of course, it’s not good for anyone, and must be healed.

I hope people are not intentional in their disruptions and disturbances of others, but you know the saying: shit happens. The question is: who is the person that has to clean up the shit from the floor and wipe off the toilet bowl? Me or you? Ugh! Whoever does it, I hope they are paid extremely well for doing this entirely undesirable work. But, ha ha now. I digress.

I had an interesting encounter over consent with a transgender woman just last week. We were both at a sex club, and it was DTF Night. If you don’t know, that stands for Down To Fuck, and the energy is wild crazy. 

There’s usually a ratio of ten or fifteen men for every woman, so any woman there, or any individual with breasts… they are “lucky.” They may not be lucky at all, though, if the men are not respectful of their boundaries and wishes. But there is protection for the women, by way of hall monitors who observe the action and make sure everything is cool.

It was an interesting evening for me, as I wasn’t even really in the mood to try and make love to anyone, I was just having fun. But I made eye contact with a trans person I knew from a previous night there, and we smiled our big smiles, just because.

A few minutes later, the interaction in point was about to occur, and it was a very eye-opening moment for me. I was standing by the wall, just minding my own business in a room where there were about two dozen men all looking for women to enjoy time with. I was not particularly interested in meeting anyone at that moment, so I was just enjoying the sights of random lovely ladies and the male shark frenzy in tow. But then, the trans lady came by, and stood in front of me, smile still huge.

They reached their hand out, and ran it down my body, tickling my nipples and rubbing my stomach seductively. Instantly, a hall monitor came over and said “HEY! You can’t just touch any guy you want without asking! Did you ask him to touch him like that? Do you know him?” And I thought for a second “Wow, yeah! that’s true…” but I also confirmed to the hall monitor that, yes, I did know that person, and it was okay.

Find sexy trans women at!

But it led me to reflect: women definitely are not always called out for their drunken crass sexual behaviour since often them showing any sexual behaviour is desired, thus any lack of respectful protocol might be overlooked and unacknowledged. People just want girls being freaky and wild, consequences be damned, am I right? Wrong.

Sexuality doesn’t function healthily that way. Women have to ask to touch men as much as men have to ask to touch women. And trans women have to ask to touch men as much as men have to ask to touch trans women!!

Just like I asked to touch this trans woman’s magnificent breasts, before we went and made some dreams come true… Wonderful.

Sincerely yours,
Addi Stewart

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