I’ve been very blessed and fortunate to have had a vast variety of intimate experiences with women, some men, and a few trans folks. I wish I was more sexually intimate with more trans men and trans women, but it’s just the luck of the draw of the universe.
I am happy to say I’ve felt intimate energy, trust, friendship and even shared musical creative energy with trans friends and lovers in my life, and it’s been nothing but heart-expanding and magical to me.
There is one particular porn shoot I did many years ago that has my mind in a kerfuffle. I am not angry and I’m not stressed, but it’s a unique scenario that I had an A-HA moment about yesterday in the shower, where I get so many of my sexy ideas.
I did a very satisfying porn shoot about four or five years ago with a woman (at the time) from New York, with a trans man shooting on camera. We had a very fun shoot, even though it was cut a little short because I had to go cover a music event that was happening on the same day across town.
A few months later, I still hadn’t seen any of the footage. A few YEARS later, I still haven’t seen any of the footage! I asked my trans friend, “Am I ever going to see the video I made?” They said they were busy, which I know they are, but they seem to be too busy to prioritize my artful creation.
The person I shot the porn scene with has now completely finished their transition to a man, and I’ve still never seen our video to this day. I’ve made peace with that, and I know that I agreed to do it for the love of both people involved, not for the money.
I thought maybe they are transgender folks who might not want to prioritize the porn and art that they make with people who aren’t trans. I’m not thinking this IS the reason because I haven’t seen it thus far, but I thought that it might be a possibility. And even if it is slightly discriminatory, I totally respect it.
Whatever their reasons, I’m sure they are fair and valid, and I don’t think I need to push the issue any further with anyone. I just had a revelation that I’ve never had before about priorities and such. The important thing is that I still love them both!
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