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Dealing with Differences in Sex Drive

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In any relationship, differences in sex drive can become a problem, but in a relationship with a transsexual woman you have the added complication of a woman’s hormone therapy added the situation. Regardless of cause, the treatment is always the same: Communication and masturbation.

There is an errant belief out there that when one is in a committed or monogamous relationship that they or their partner’s masturbation should end. Even in committed relationships, you should both still be taking some “me” time. If there’s a discrepancy between sex drives, masturbation can certainly provide some relief and should be encouraged as long as it’s not taking away from the performance of one’s carnal responsibilities to their mate. Partners should never feel threatened by the other’s masturbation unless it is interfering with their sex together.

In a committed relationship, each partner has sexual responsibilities to the relationship (like all the other responsibilities attached to a long-term relationship) and constantly denying or demanding sex is one sure way to send the relationship on the fast lane to extinction. While there are perfectly reasonable short-term reasons for sex to decrease such as work stress and obligations, illness, availability, etc., it is often a sign there are other problems in the relationship.

It is important to communicate what your expectations for sex are right from the get-go and to keep the lines of communication open in both directions over the course of the relationship. Waiting to bring it up after you’ve gone six months without sex, fighting all the time over everything or waiting until you’ve been caught cheating, is the wrong way to go. If you can’t reach a compromise that you both can live with, seek out a counsellor to help mediate the disagreement and uncover what might be the real cause for the decreasing passion in your relationship.

Over the course of a relationship it’s natural for the frequency and intensity of sex to diminish over time, but that’s not to say it should disappear completely. Maintaining communication throughout this process will go a long way towards making your coupling a happy one. In the end you may find that you’re quite happy with the diminishing frequency if you’re both secure with your status in the relationship.

How do you maintain balance with a partner whose sex drive is lower or higher than your own?

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Tell us what you think!

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