When I see Government of Canada data and questionnaires and forms that only break down humanity into “male” and “female,” I feel for my transgender friends who consider themselves neither.
I relate to them insofar as I don’t relate to strictly male characteristics and identifiers as a human being. I quite enjoy identifying and claiming connection to the female/femme aspects of all human characteristics, and I don’t see why we all don’t explore and examine ourselves on levels beyond the traditional spaces we are told our selves can even exist in.
This applies to non-intimate aspects of existence as a human being, but it also applies to the sexy bits, and this is where I’d like to explore today.
The beautiful thing about transgender sexuality is the mystery of transgender sexuality. This is where the magical space between “gender” and “sexuality” begin to separate, and humanity starts getting really interesting.
You may be attracted to a person who refers to themselves as “zir” or “ze,” but what if they are attracted to trans women, lesbians, twinks and heterosexual boys with red hair. This is as much a possibility as any other combination of possibilities that a person in this wild world can accommodate.
There are over 7 billion people on the planet. How many of them are transgender? Any estimate on that number? I’ve never heard any. Can we say 50 million? I wonder. If anyone knows, please share that with the class…
Anyways, the point I’m most trying to make, is that there is, in my experience, a wide range of sexual energies at play when being intimate with a trans person. One time when I was with a trans woman shooting a porn scene, there were moments of passion and energetic intimacy that made me KNOW they were transitioning from a man. The masculine energy of their motions nearly overwhelmed my entire essence, causing me to take a breather during a temporary aside in which I graciously held their wrists, and said, “Slow down.”
There were both masculine and feminine characteristics to their body energy, but there was more, and I don’t know how to categorize it. I don’t know if it needs to be, or if it already has and I don’t know the words yet. I don’t care, I just followed my heart to the connections that felt right, and that’s how my love life is with humanity.
Whether woman, man, or trans man or trans woman, I just balance my hybrid masculine-feminine energy with theirs—whatever theirs is.
Good times, I tells you!
Sincerely, humbly, openly in love,