Living Out Loud with a Transgender Lover

One day not too long ago, I was walking down the south side of Queen Street, minding my sweet ol’ little business, doing my thing, being sexy, jamming to music, dancing while I was walking, just being my regular old slightly weird self. But still the same old me.

Lo and behold, right outside the parking lot for MuchMusic (where I saw someone who has a strictly oral-sex-providing relationship with me, and who works inside the CHUM-TV building, but I digress) I saw one of my infrequent, but very passionately connected transgender lovers!

I saw them at Oasis a few times and had some really sexy encounters, I saw them at Blockorama and danced a bit, and I saw them randomly during the Pride Parade where we always celebrate joyously when we see each other. Different contexts provide different levels of interaction, and I respect their boundaries to the fullest.

They are a big, beautiful black trans woman, and their life experience is nothing and nowhere near what I know, so I take the passenger role very often when we are sharing time and space. They always want to make sure I am comfortable, and I always want to make sure they are comfortable. That’s why it keeps working between us.

But this time was a little different. I was near my house, in my neighborhood, on the street during the day in a totally non-sexual environment. AND they weren’t alone. I wasn’t sure if they would even want me to acknowledge them in public. Some people are not as open as others, and I’m not one to judge. I’ve had people I had crazy sex with walk past me like meh.

But it’s honestly different with a trans person. Outing their identity is a totally separate circumstance, for both them and me. And if they don’t want the world to know certain things, I can dig it. So I walked very cautiously near my lover, and smiled, but didn’t reach out just yet. I waited. Walked. Waited a little more. Walked slower. And observed.

Then they reached out for me and said “HEYYYY! So good to see you!”

I felt the exact same thing and gave them the biggest hug.

We then began to catch up and kinda get a little steamy right there on Queen Street, and I was kinda shocked at how open we were being, not because they were trans, per se, but because the person they were with seemed to be their partner! 

I didn’t want to impose, but this lover of mine was NOT resisting the magnetic attraction between us whatsoever! What looked like a very cute, gay black boi was just quietly waiting there, while we flirted, cuddled, hugged and cheek-kissed a bunch of times, and gave no fucks in general about being seen.

It was very liberating and very insightful, and I could appreciate their courage and confidence in the scenario. It could have gone many other ways, and it often has. So I’m thankful for this.

I said, “Nice seeing you, love! I look forward to the next time.”

They said, “Me too!” And blew me one last kiss.

I grabbed it, swallowed it, and rubbed my belly. That’s how we show love around here, baby!

Ha ha,
Addi Stewart

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