Stories

When Transgender Trauma is Recycled

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There is something I have experienced second hand that is well worth talking about, even though I don’t have much to say about it. Except that it’s very real, and it’s tragic.

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Transgender abuse via transgender trauma.

A family member of a person I know had been introduced to this trans person in a relationship, and apparently throughout the entire meeting, the family member misgendered them, disrespected them, and didn’t once make an effort to meet them halfway between understanding and ignorance.

And thus the trans person left that well-intentioned experience with nothing but remorse, disdain, and regret that will last many years, as their triggering led to them deciding to never meet with those conservative white folks again.

Furthermore, one of the repercussions to this scenario actually was revealed a few months later, in a similarly unfortunate situation: the trans person had begun lashing out and controlling the other person in the relationship as well.

I don’t mean to diagnose their behavioural pattern or claim to know exactly how they are feeling, god no. I know there could be, and are definitely probably many other factors involved in what led to the trans person choosing to express themselves aggressively or emphatically, or even attempt to control people, places or things in their partner’s lives.

Truth is: transgender people barely have ANY space or place to go and speak about their experiences in life in so many ways and on so many levels.

There are endless reasons why trans people could be angry, frustrated, disappointed, or infuriated with the system and with society. Change doesn’t come that fast, especially in the realm of sexual freedom. Change probably comes the slowest of all in things sex related, so we are in a pickle here.

Bottom line: transgender people who are suffering from abuse and trauma need to be cured. Healed. Helped. Heard. Held.

This is something that has to come to light more in this generation. Maybe in the next decade, we can all be educated on transgender truths that were mostly unknown a decade ago.

It’s going to take a lot of mental work though. An infuriating amount.

But we can’t be nearly as angry as any trans person could be, dealing with ignorant muggles and xenophobes every day of their life, whether in stealth or out to all.

I’d probably be angry as hell if I were trans who had to deal with the injustice around sexual freedom and political, social and economic representation… sheesh!

But I’m simply a black queer pansexual artist… what do I know about transgender existence?

Teach me more, dear trans friends.

Happily or angrily!

xoxo,
Addi Stewart

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