Stories

Understanding Transgender Sexuality

Sexy Woman on Brooklyn Bridge

Is there a central, international, singular, agreed-upon, unified definition and basic location for the foundation and fundamental ideology of being transgender? I haven’t found or seen it yet. If it exists, I hope a trans person (or anyone who knows it for that matter) can share it in the comments.

My understanding of transgender sexuality has been growing in leaps and bounds, fits and spurts for the last few years, and it has affected my relationships with some of my trans partners.

There are periods when I have been confused, and during these times, I have experienced not wanting to be intimate physically with one or two partners in particular. They have been going through transitions, and as my own education has been going through its own transition, sometimes I’m not able to meet their requests for sexual connection.

It surprises me because I’ve had magical sexual experiences with this one trans partner, and I’ve been happy to be there for them emotionally and socially through their transition. But sometimes the sexuality has shifted—a new experience for me to learn and feel.

I hope and think that there will be more intimate connections between me and this partner in the near future, but I just have to honor and analyze my emotional process as I educate myself and evolve my heart through the journey of growth that I am living currently.

They have been patient with me as I tell them the reasons I get closer and then float away. As long as am honest, they know our relationship remains authentic, and we can still share emotional and personal truths that remain protected with each other.

It’s special to experience, and I enjoy being this connected. The sex will happen when and if the stars align in due time. Love is always in a state of transition.

Sincerely,
Addi Stewart

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