Stories

Experiences Outside Heteronormativity

Hands Grasping Satin Sheets

There are so many possibilities in the realm of sex with humans. Heteronormativity has really robbed humanity of the experience of awareness and enlightenment of interaction with all types of bodies, genitals and identities, as well as sexualities and genders.

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It’s a shame that some people will go their whole lives crossing paths, doing business, sharing space, learning and living with trans folks, but never having intimate experiences or sexual encounters with any of them.

I have an upcoming date with a trans lover who is on a hormone-injection regimen, and we are navigating the time and space when they will feel ready to become sexual again—a new experience for me. Not only are we negotiating polyamory details, but we are also navigating gender adjustment details.

It eventually comes down to the most human and loving details about connection. Do you feel ready to share yourself? What do you not want to divulge? What is safe for me to know and do. What new connections are possible during this vulnerable time in your identity growth?

I learned another level of growth when they responded to me with a very interesting revelation.

They said, “No matter what is happening with my genitals, I’m still interested in anal sex together! That’s always an option!” And I thought, well there we have it. We all can share that part of each other, except for a few, and that’s okay too! We all have mouths, or hands, or simply some fleshy part to share.

Sex doesn’t even have to be penetrative, so working with that knowledge I anticipate new possibilities and interesting new boundaries and spaces to share with this trans partner.

Life is so interesting and educational if one keeps their heart open to the lessons love offers at the most random times. After opening the heart, the legs and arms are the next best thing to keep wide open. You never know where the fun could lead. You really never know!

Play safe,
Addi Stewart

Tell us what you think! 1 Comment

  1. Charles

    June 20, 2019 at 2:51 pm

    What an interesting article, expressing some great points. I wholeheartedly agree and only wish I’d realized this before aging out of the dating pool. Love and affection are much needed, and I hope more people open up to something they may not have considered before. Great work and keep writing!

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