What are transgendered women looking for in online dating? Well, it depends on the woman. But one thing surfaces consistently when trans women express what they’re looking for in a man: attention.
All women want attention.
Read this line twice: For many women—trans or cis-gender—it’s the whole point of dating.
Attention is simply, the regarding of someone or something as interesting or important. Think about phrases like, “pay attention,” or “attention to detail.”
You don’t have to be rich, good looking, or super smart to get this one right.
Call when you say you’ll call. Be considerate of her feelings. Take the time to notice things about her appearance, and ask about her day.
We want you to care about our day, our ideas, our thoughts, the lingerie or perfume we put on for you. We want you to notice!
You know the story of the couple on a date: the man turns when a sexy blonde walks by, and then his date walks out? It’s a classic because it happens a lot. Men get defensive because it’s unrealistic to expect they will never find other women attractive.
But that’s not what bothers the woman in the story. I could care less if you’ve got Caitlyn Jenner doing a private striptease on the back of your eyelids when I’m not around. But don’t ogle others when you should be giving your attention to your date. Not if you want to see her again!
Here’s a little secret: you can be post-dumb, you can be a four out of ten, you can be socially awkward, and you can be broke. But if you pay attention, you’ll find yourself with a bevy of beautiful trans ladies. Time spent thinking of her needs is far more useful in dating than time spent pumping iron.
How can you give her the attention she deserves? All you need to do is slow down and notice things.
Ask her questions about herself, and listen to the answers.
Go where she wants to go sometimes. If you expect her to join you watching hockey games and eating frozen pizza, you must also take her to her favorite sushi bar or wine lounge.
You don’t have to call all the time and come running every time she texts. But if you say you’re going to, you absolutely must do so.
If you find her beautiful and exciting, don’t forget to tell her. That’s easy!
“Is that a new dress? I love that new new pink lipstick.”
Plan romantic dates. Ask yourself every day, “What can I indulge her?” You will soon find yourself picking wildflowers for her when you’re in a park playing softball together. You might make lunch for her while you’re making yours, and drop it off en route to work.
One of the most memorable, romantic, sexy things that ever happened to me was after a date was cancelled. My beau was a paramedic and was called in for a busy emergency shift. I was disappointed but his job is important.
Moments after cancelling, he pulled up in my driveway. I ran out, excited. “You’re free after all!” He shook his head and said, “No. I’m on my way. But I just had to stop so I could kiss you.”
It was a kiss I’ll never forget.
Being attentive to your trans date’s needs, wants, wishes, and efforts is all it takes, and it will make you a fought-over, wanted man.
You like her? You love her? You find her beautiful or sexy?
All you have to do is show her.