Stories

When You Find Out Your Date is Trans

Fishnets and Polka Dot Panties

I met someone. Someone very unique and amazing, yay and hooray! We liked each other from the first moment we laid eyes on each other. The attraction was real, the lust was genuine, the electricity was on fire!

She was delectable, delicious and direct. Huge smile, and even bigger spirit. I was very happy to learn this person was interested in me. The feeling was mutual! And then she gave me her phone number, and I was like Woo-hoo! It’s becoming real!

After a week or two of rescheduling, we got some days aligned to meet up. And it was about to become more than hope. But I didn’t know everything I needed to know. Not yet. I didn’t even know what I was about to learn, but it was coming soon!

So, we were texting, and she was revealing various details. Name, workplace, neighborhood where they lived; and I was revealing my details too, along similar lines. We then revealed some sexual certainties and intentions of ours…

Things were getting very, VERY honest and very hot and bothered in both of our pants and our minds. It was greatness forming.

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Then, the next text she sent put me in THE MOMENT OF SUPER TRUTH.

I think every initial engagement with a trans person will have this moment. It happens with EVERYONE, but it’s a little different depending on gender, relationship, potential intention, and such and such negligible variables.

But she said: “I’m ______ Shemale online.” And I had my Oprah-inspired A-Ha! Moment. I was like “Oh word? really?”

And then we had our first Moment of Super Truth. It was a beautiful one! And with a trans man or trans woman, I think they are often wondering if or when, but more like IF, they will tell their new friend what their sexual identity is, even after their declaration of pronouns. There is a point when just polite conversation and acquaintance-level discussion is no longer applicable. But what does one start sharing next? THEIR CHOICE. And with all due respect, a good friend will listen and learn along.

Did things change when I found out she was a shemale? Yes and no. I had never had a relationship with one, as a friend or a lover, and I was like “Hmmm, how would I react physically to this person with a body type I’ve never been with?” And I chose to follow Love and connect to the good feelings I felt between me and her. We had great intellectual chemistry, great spiritual alignment, great witty banter, a great mutual appreciation of movies, and other great emotional connectors. And it led to everything else feeling wonderful! The next moment of super truth was just as educational and I thank her for giving me such wisdom and passion!

It’s a blessed act of courage for a friend to open one of their deepest secrets to another, and that moment of super truth should always be respected for what it is, even if someone isn’t prepared to have a relationship or be friends with a trans person, which is their fair freedom to feel. Not that it’s logical, humane or respectable to stop being cool with someone simply because of their private sexual truth, but it’s still everyone’s free choice to choose. Those human beings who respect other human beings will live and learn and love and laugh more than they could ever imagine when they connect their super truths!

Thank you, angel! Mwaaah!

In super new love,
Addi Stewart

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