Just the Tips

Tips for Trans Online Dating

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If you want to go on a date with a trans person, just like a date with anyone, you ought to keep a few things in mind about your online dating profile.

1. Just be honest. You might be tempted to lie about your age, height, weight, etc. And it might work in the short term, but eventually the truth always comes out. You can’t trick people forever. If you put your cards on the table right away, you are more likely to get responses.

2. Avoid ranting. Nobody is going to respond well to a long profile full of bitterness and anger. Try to say positive things about yourself and be open to many possibilities. Say what is interesting about you. It doesn’t matter what the subject is, what matters is that you’re showing you have constructive and positive passions.

3. Choose proper photos. Don’t try to trick people by only showing obscure bits of your body, or images of your dog. Just let people see you. Someone is going to find you sexy, especially if you write a great profile. Don’t use a selfie you took wearing sunglasses and sitting in your car… that isn’t sexy to anyone.  

4. Communicate in sentences. Nothing is sexier than someone who can communicate in complete sentences. It shows you are thoughtful and not superficial. The word is spelled “you,” not “U,” for example. “C U L8r” is an idiotic thing to write unless you are sixteen.

5. When you send someone a message, be polite and respectful. If you don’t get a response, don’t take it personally. Move on and keep trying. Try to read people’s profiles and respond to what they said, or ask them thoughtful questions. People are more likely to respond if you engage them on subjects they find interesting. Starting with “Hey baby!” or some such thing is a good way to get blocked.

6. If you get someone talking, don’t be pushy. Let things unfold at their own pace. Some people are into going on dates right away while others want to talk a while, maybe on a fake email, before they trust you. Ask politely about things, and don’t get sore if they say no, or aren’t ready to meet. Playing it cool is always sexier than being a jerk.

7. Never write “please respond” or send multiple messages if they didn’t respond.  The more messages you send, the lower your chances get. If someone doesn’t write you back, they have a good reason. Trust the process. If things stop mysteriously then they stop. Deal with it, and move on. You don’t get to win every time.

8. If you get a date, pick some place nice where you can talk and get to know each other. A coffee, or a drink is good because it gives you a chance to see if there’s chemistry. A coffee date can last half an hour, or a lifetime. It all depends on the sparks.  

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