Just the Tips

Do’s and Don’ts for Your First Date with a T-Girl

Couple on Date at Bar

You’ve met a beautiful transgender woman through online dating and she’s  agreed to meet you in person. Congratulations! Maybe you’ve been meeting interesting T-girls online for years, or maybe it’s your first experience with meeting a trans date. Follow these easy tips and you’ll have a smashing time together.

DO suggest a fun, neutral place that other people like to go to, too.
The real reason you chose a dimly lit table in the back of a cave is because you’re hoping to make out, but afford your trans date (or any date for that matter) the assurance of comfort and safety around other people. Pick something a little trendier where she doesn’t have to feel vulnerable or hidden away. Until she knows she’s comfortable with you, a gentleman always allows the woman to set the pace for sexy.

DO keep your suggestions simple in the beginning.
Most first dates should take place over a drink or espresso and something to eat. You may find you both enjoy a variety of outings together in the future – the zoo, an afternoon antiquing in a nearby village, a cooking class, a Tantra sex workshop – but keep things simple at first so you can work out the basics, like do we get along in person, and is there any chemistry?

DO consider her comfort and interests.
She’s not going to appreciate how cosmopolitan you picking the new Korean BBQ bistro is, if she’s a vegetarian. Maybe your trans girl does love hockey and suicide wings as much as you do, but before inviting her to the local sports pub, think about whether she might be intimidated by noisy crowds or a bunch of rowdy men ogling her.

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DON’T overdo it by trying to be someone else.
Don’t go to your favorite dive, but forget about the fanciest French restaurant in town unless it’s some place you actually go to. Flowers are a thoughtful token, but showing up with three dozen roses is overwhelming. Don’t pick her up in your friend’s Porsche when you drive a beat up old pickup. Women want you to show them the best side of yourself, not pretend to be someone else. She said yes to a date with you.

DON’T assume things.
She’s a knockout, but don’t assume she’s a man eater or that you can’t measure up to the few good photos you sent. Beautiful people are attracted to humor, consideration, and human kindness just like anyone else. Or maybe she doesn’t look quite the way she does in her professional glamour shots. So what? If only perfect tens ever hooked up, only three people would ever have sex or find love. Don’t assume anything. First date jitters can make anyone present a better or worse version of who they really are. Get comfortable and allow the real her and the real you to make an appearance.

DON’T tell her you’ll call again if you won’t.
If you know by the end of the date that you aren’t interested, don’t try to avoid the unpleasant by stringing her along. Be kind but be honest. “Thank you for meeting me. I had a nice time, but the chemistry just isn’t right for me. I wish you the best.”

You don’t want a reputation in a close-knit trans community as a game player or a boor. If she’s not really into you, it might hurt a bit, but she’ll have respect for you because you had respect for her. And that’s the kind of word that gets around.

Also read: How a Man Can Get a Second Date

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